Too well loved to ever be forgotten

Josiah,I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned the hard way that some poems don't rhyme and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
- xoxo love and miss you my precious angel please know that mommy will always love you, and know that you hold a special place in my heart that no one will ever replace. Josiah you are in every thought that I think, you are in every breath that I take, you are apart of every beat in my heart! As long as I live you will always be with me I will never ever forget you, you were my first born son and you will always be my baby. I will always mourn for you because I will always miss you. Josiah you made a great impact on my life for the short time you were here with me, you were a strong lil one and you put up such a huge fight you tried and mommy is so proud of you, I will always be proud of you. You didn't let me down so don't ever think that,(if anything my body let you down) I knew you were tired I seen it in your eyes. My arms feel so empty and I wish I could hold you in them, the hardest part was handing over your little body after holding you for hours when you passed away because I wanted to just hold you forever in my arms and I felt like I was giving you away. I even went back to the hospital the next day to hold you again and the hardest part was laying you down and walking away from you that was the last time mommy seen you. I do regret not going back one more time to see you but I knew how hard it would have been for me to lay you down and leave you for a third time so I chose not to go back, but I have faith that one day I will join you in Heaven and I am gonna hold you in my arms and never let you go (so enjoy being free while you can) Give your grandma lots and lots of hugs and kisses and butterfly kisses from me ok and let her know I love and miss her so much! Josiah I cant explain just how much I love you, I never knew it was possible to love someone so much even after death. You were once inside of me and you will always be a part of me.
Love always and forever,
Mommy